Bzzz.reorg.

I woke up crabby this morning. Went to bed with too much on my mind, woke up with even more running through my head. Crabbed my way in on the train, not really wanting to talk about anything. Walked down Charles Street instead of through the Common and as I got to the Public Gardens, I thought to myself, what am I doing? Where the hell am I going? Why am I wasting even more time in life?

I walked around the pond, enjoying the sun bouncing off the water, taking my time to enjoy the sights like I had been doing up until a months or so ago. I just realized I have been worrying so much about everything, the house, work, being able to legally stay married, that it all has gone by and yet again, it is almost fall and what I accomplished this summer? Have I been busy? Yes. Have I enjoyed myself? Some. Have I gained weight? Yes. What does it all add up to? Nothing.

I want to stop and smell the roses but it is almost as if I need to plan to do it. It is hard how conscious you have to be of what is going on in life in order to make sure you appreciate it and enjoy it. I took a three day weekend this past weekend and it was nice, not doing much but not spending the entire weekend watching tv. It was productive, not as much as I wanted but it was nice. Here it Monday again and my brain wont turn off to relax for a minute. How do I stop it? Well, I am blogging this morning. Maybe if I get more stuff down instead of just ignoring it, that might help. We shall see.

I guess I am in the midst of one of those moments where I have to clear something out of my head. Do a little house keeping and reorder the priorities. The hard part is trying to figure out what they are. House renovations, baby, job, vacation….I am sure it goes on and on. The question is where to start and where to stop. I feel like it is not a bad start this morning, let’s see if I can keep it up.